Information for Parents & Families

Supporting Your Student

Starting college provides a cascade of changes, potential anxieties and worries about not measuring up. Many students find their way into a rhythm of managing time and work. They may have stress, but largely they handle the cycles of quarters or semesters. Others struggle more, and sometimes their stress grows into distress. The good news is that you can learn how to support them and help them manage the underlying stressors.

Guidelines & Tips

• Show your confidence in your student by allowing them to learn from their mistakes, celebrate their successes, and fight their own battles. Remember that they are still practicing to be full-fledged adults.  Achieving maturity is a long process.
• Remember that developing independence is crucial and requires efforts from both parents and students.  Resist the urge for multiple contacts per day and limit advice giving/seeking for small problems of daily living.
• College is a time of self-preoccupation which can sometimes appear self-centered and oblivious to the feelings and needs of other family members. This, too, shall pass!
• Be a “safety net” not a “safety harness.”
• Help your student remember to put the inevitable ups and downs of college in perspective. Of course, if they are doing poorly due to emotional or environmental difficulties, it would be appropriate and important to express concern about this and help your student identify the correct resources to get the help they need in order to address those problems.
• Keep conversations brief, non-prying, and open minded. Discuss difficult topics (e.g., alcohol, drugs, sex, relationships, future careers) prior to coming as well as throughout college. 
• Encourage your student to get involved in at least one extra curricular activity in the first semester
• Encourage your student to become familiar with campus, community and online resources.  There are many!
  

Reminders for Yourself

Although it may be difficult to see your child leave home, remember that they are learning skills that will lead to a fulfilling college experience, career, and  life. Here are a few things to remember during this time:

• Early homesickness does not predict poor adjustment to college
• Listen to understand their experiences and provide support.
• Find new interests yourself or pursue old ones. 
• Be kind to yourself as you adjust. This is a big change for you as well!

Additional Resources:

• Letting Go: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger.
• A Hub for Wake Families
• Campus Safety Alerts
• The Office of Academic Advising: Resources & Support for Students
  

Feel free to contact the UCC with any additional questions!